The Great Quarterback Quagmire

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? What came first, the chicken or the egg? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? What does Lovie Smith's choice of Kyle Orton to start the first game of pre-season – with Rex to start [read more...]

Finding Spare Change

Is there anyone else at Halas Hall that needs be paid? Rumor is that the janitor will be holding out for a new deal that includes a $2 million dollar signing bonus and free window cleaner. With the signing of Devin Hester to a deal that pays him wide receiver money before proving he can be a wide receiver, Jerry Angelo [read more...]

The Real Problem

Remember the 1997 film "Wag the Dog", starring Dustin Hoffman as a Washington, DC public relations executive and Robert De Niro as a Hollywood director? The plot involves a President who needs to cover up a sex scandal to be re-elected, so he calls on Hoffman and De Niro to create a fake war to divert the media focus. Soon [read more...]

Summer of Lovie

Discontent is a winter-time problem. At least it was in Shakespeare's time when he penned (or quilled, rather) "Richard III." Though, it should be noted that Shakespeare never had to drive the Edens on a Friday afternoon in February through a rush-hour blizzard, so what the hell did he know about discontent? Bears fans can attest that the pangs of contentment [read more...]

Favre’s Possible Return a Blessing - For the Bears

Four months ago, Brett Favre claimed he was done with football. Done with two-a-day practices, done with the Lambeau Leap, done with throwing bullet screen passes and beautiful deep balls. After 15 years, one Super Bowl title and countless NFL records, Favre left the Green Bay Packers for a whole lot of nothing on his land in Mississippi. Now that has [read more...]

Devin Hester

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Cedric Benson - Guilty, NFL Style

The Chicago Bears waived Cedric Benson after a second alleged intoxication beef in sunny, sultry, Austin, Texas. The first was for "Boating While Black (with a bevy of white women)" on the party waters of Lake Travis. For BWB Benson was dragged ashore face down through the lake and beaten. His mug shot shows clearly his battered eye and swollen [read more...]

Grading the Draft

The list of rules and rituals I don't like in pro sports is very brief. In baseball, I don't like that there's a foul poll and a foul line when we all know that if a ball lands on either of those barriers, the ball is fair. I find it annoying that NBA refs tend to call a block or [read more...]

Chris Williams

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Paranoid in Chicago

"It's not paranoia if everyone is really out to get you." - Woody Allen Someone at the league office owes the Bears a fruit basket. Something nice, with a couple of those "Cutie" tangerines that are so much better than the bruised naval oranges you often receive. Heck, even a leftover Hillshire [read more...]

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