Headlines for October, 2007

Un-Bear-able

It's time people in Chicago took the hint and realized that this Bear season is a success. If you want to know why Lovie Smith and his grumpy band of interviewees seem so angry when questioned about their season, it's because they can't find a way to make the reporters and fans understand that 2007 Bears have achieved all of [read more...]

Urlacher Under Fire

Give Urlacher a break.No, really - lay off the guy. For all of the talk the last thousand years about how the Bears lacked a playmaker at quarterback, no one seems to appreciate that the Bears have a bona-fide contender for a place in Canton some day on defense - a genuine, all-pro, destroyer at MLB. That should mean something more [read more...]

The Third Moses of Northwestern Football

Ethically, I need to begin this article with a disclaimer: I was raised and remain a tortured, bruised and battered purple supporter. I have been going to Northwestern football home games since 1993, and will support the Cats through wins and losses. As a writer though, I have a responsibility to be objective. Please excuse me if I falter in [read more...]

A Numbers Game

Numbers are screwy. They're kind of shifty. They shouldn't be trusted. When people start bandying about statistics, it's best to turn the other way and keep walking.If you really liked punishing yourself numerically on Sunday, you could have played a numbers game by counting the advertisements on Fox featuring Dane Cook. I'm guessing somewhere in the 42 per hour range. [read more...]

Hysterically Hester

I've got a bit of a penchant for hyperbole, so it came as no surprise to a friend of mine when I declared that Devin Hester is the greatest return man in the history of the NFL. My buddy demurred, stating that perhaps he's not yet the greatest, and that maybe after only 25 games or so, it was a [read more...]

What’s In Your Bears Glass?

Those big, two-liter bottles of soda aren't meant for personal consumption. At least, it's hard to finish one yourself unless you're really working at it. That's why when you open the refrigerator and see that mysterious bottle of Coke sitting at the back, half-full, there's always the question: has it gone flat?After all, there's a chance it was opened once, [read more...]

Bears Get Out-Coached, Petersoned

There is only one truth in the profession/art of plumbing, but it holds steady as an analogy for all aspects of life:"S@*t rolls downhill." This gem of wisdom doesn't just explain why waste-lines must descend at an angle of one inch for every foot traveled in order to insure proper flow; it also provides the framework to understand bigger attempts at [read more...]

Five Under the Radar

Quarterbacks and running backs are the glory boys. When they're doing well, the team shines and the fans bask in the ability to brag about their favorite team. Woe to any team, however, when one or both of these positions struggle. Everyone can see when a starting QB flubs up plays (see: Grossman) and everyone can tell when a running [read more...]

Rushing Illini

What is the point when a school goes from 'nice story' to 'serious title contender'? Is it when they sign their first blue chip prospect? How about when a player on the roster starts showing up on several different Heisman Trophy watch lists? Or could it be when the team knocks off a top-five opponent?If those three questions are the [read more...]

Brett Who?

Supposedly, Brett Favre played football last night. You may have never known this by watching television, as the NBC Sunday Night Football broadcast only mentioned Brett Favre approximately 5,732 times. For those of you keeping score at home, that's 376 comments short of the all-time record for mentioning one person in a broadcast, surpassed only by Pope John Paul II's [read more...]

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